Click on the image to watch the updated version of the iconic Simon & Garfunkle song, “Sounds of Silence” performed by Disturbed. The images portray a world that is currently in lockdown. And a background for the sentiments that I have shared in this posting. I am not trained as either a psychologist or psychiatrist, but the thoughts and feeling expressed in this posting are my experiences and hypothesis of what I have been feeling during the lockdown to date.
Are we as humans capable of sustained isolation, either alone or with others? This is a question that I have been pondering since the lockdown commenced some weeks ago. I am usually a very positive person, however, I hit a wobbly a few days ago that caused me to question how I would deal with the extended lockdown and my face-to-face interactions with people once this is over. I am grateful for the fact that I have much of what others might not have, but at the same time, I too have to pay bills and my opportunity to generate income at present has been severely curtailed. So, I figure that I have the right to allow myself to feel overwhelmed by what is occurring currently all over the planet.
Can we use the time wisely for reflection? I try on a daily basis to think of what I have, not what I don’t have. But then I start to become concerned, like many of use, as to how quickly all returns to normal…whatever normal will be once this extended lockdown is over. And it is then that the actual reality of what is going on hits home and I start to feel the waves of darkness lapping at my feet.
If you visit the quarry on Robben Island, you will find a cairn made of rocks at the entrance. They were placed there by the prisoners(including Nelson Mandela) to mark the passage of time. I currently use this gravel to mark how many laps I do around the garden to keep physically active daily. These are some of the questions that I have posed to myself to keep my mind occupied and my hands out of the fridge… Some of my feelings might resonate with you, but your response might be different. There are really no right/wrong answers to any of the questions that I pose…
Once the lockdown has been lifted and we are once again allowed to venture past our gates and back into the world, will we be able to do so or will we, collectively, be wary of venturing forth? So far I have only left our house on two occasions. Once to go to the supermarket (there and back in 20 minutes) and the other occasion was to go to the local pharmacy. I am by nature relatively gregarious and I do enjoy chatting to people in queues. However, on both occasions, I found myself not making eye contact and just wanting to get away from the other people and get back home again. At present, I am uncertain of how I will react once the lockdown has been lifted and we are, once more, allowed to mingle and interact with each other.
What about the potential for suicide? Given the fact that many will either lose their jobs or will be made redundant as a direct result of the lockdown? In amongst all the packages that our President is putting in place, what about support for those who just feel that it is all too much? I am in a loving relationship and although my wife works and goes in every 3rd day ( she is one of the essentials) we at least have each other for comfort and companionship. What about those who are in lockdown alone with no family and no job prospects after the lockdown is over. Or about to get divorced and their move was interrupted by the lockdown and they have to spend time with an angry/upset/vindictive soon to be ex?
What will happen to post lockdown family dynamics, given the fact that some people have been with their family for extended periods that might be out of the norm? It is said the “fish and family both go off after 4 days”! Now you have to spend weeks together.
Will we become more insular, knowing that many can function from home rather than from an office environment? For those who worked in offices with co-workers, this change may seem quite extreme. For those of us who are used to working from home, nothing much changes…except that we lose clients and we cannot get out for that daily coffee break with friends.
What will happen to digital contact? Will that continue or will it once again become a secondary form of communication? Are we going to have to learn to deal face-to-face with our friends and family, or will we be able to switch back with ease? Those who are able to contact via the internet will at least have one of the FaceTime types of software loaded so you can remember what friends and family look like…
What about misplaced rage? Or for that matter the withdrawal symptoms from either cigarettes or alcohol? Being neither a drinker or a smoker, I am not affected by lack of either of these products, but rage is what I feel every time I read a stupid Facebook comment or see people breaking the lockdown rules with impunity.
What can people currently in lockdown do to promote mental health? What sort of visualization techniques could we all be practising? Crossword puzzles and word games are one way. Not watching too much mindless TV and I stay away from the Facebook quizzes as those are clickbait they make me angry.
But when and how we currently have no idea. There is no vaccine (as I write this) neither is the lockdown completion date cast in stone. This could take months if not longer before the ‘coast is clear’ and the world as we knew it returns to some sort of post-pandemic normality.
But, often a shit day is EXACTLY that…shit! Do I have to be positive and grateful on a daily basis, or can I have a day where the darkness envelopes me and all I want to is be isolated within the isolation? If the answer is “Yes”, then I will suck it up and carry on.
I suppose that the biggest stumbling block to mental health at present is the fact there is so much that is unknown about COVID-19 and what the long term effects are going to be. Will the lockdown be extended again? If so, will that be an ongoing cycle of setting an end date and then changing it a week before the deadline? But for now, to keep both my physical and mental health in reasonable condition, I will continue to walk the perimeter of our garden twice a day.
I will end with this poem by British author Jeff Foster that resonated with the way that I feel currently. Be kind to yourself and go gently in each and every day.
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