This Q&A has been doing the rounds on social media for a while.
These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were
answered by the website owner,
who has a great sense of humour!
Q: Does it ever get windy in South
This was the only question that he did not answer…
The words are his(hers) and I added the images…
Q: I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants
in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to
Cape Town – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometers take lots of water…
Q: Is it safe to run around in the
bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes…
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash
machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town ,
Knysna and Jeffrey’s Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information
about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the
big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not…oh forget it.
Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South
Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll
send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South
Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’
Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh
forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow,
straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South
Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product
that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South
Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in
South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in
South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South
Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape
Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is
Q: Please send a list of all doctors
in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South
African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969,
and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you
help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English
most places I go? ( USA )